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Blabbermouth (1/5/16; WC 509) Q

Table of Contents (summercircles)

Table of Contents (Despina's Infamous Green Journal) (sumercircles)

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Blabbermouth




The best portion of a good man's life are the little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.

                                                    ∼ William Wordsworth


The day after Cu’s breakfast with the Edison Electric CEO and the elementary school presentations of their research, a white car with an EE symbol pulls up. Ah, our anti-Indian electricity worker seems to have been coerced into explaining why building electrical lines to the town is now viable!  He of "We all know they won't pay their bills" fame!  I bet this duty is a bitter pill for him to swallow.

Juan dutifully translates Sarita's repeat of her speech before Chief Quantico for the fellow.  The depth of the seven year old's analysis seems to be sinking in.  Nobody expects children that young to be so serious.

That's the danger of a few trips to the library and exposure to the world-wide web.  Forget furnaces, fridges, stoves, and toys.  These kids want computers at any cost, even though none have ever played a video game in their lives.

A feasibility study would be done.  Lines to the wind tunnels and a price for the excess generation would be negotiated.  All eyes follow him as he scuttles away, visibly perspiring.  Once in his car, he leans toward the center of the car right after starting it.

Probably turning the A/C on full blast, Despina grins.


She heads into town that afternoon. It's too hot to nap, tired as I am, and I need to pick Mickey's brain. The social focus of the small community seems to be Ellie's Café, a hole in the wall always wafting sublime scents into the street, so I'll head that way.

Ice water and inspiration go hand in hand,
she thinks.

When she first enters the dark interior, she pauses to allow her eyes to adjust. Ailing lighting fixtures, or atmosphere? she wonders.

The sheriff sits in a booth with his back against the far wall, centered so as to be able to see both the street and the café.

"Taking a page from Wild Bill Hickok's autobiography, Mick?" she inquires, sitting.

"What brings you to town, Dee?"

"I'd like to say, 'a nice. warm shower,' but since I have no hope of getting that before this weekend, I guess I'll just have to settle for some information."

“I just might be able to put in a good word for you with a nice widow lady who might be persuaded to let you shower there now if it's not otherwise occupied."

"You're definitely 'on' for that one!  The other information is kind of private.”

"I'm a veritable font of information – fire away.”

Leaning forward, she drops her voice conspiratorially.  "Where's the nearest sperm bank?"

Only a flick of his eyes betrays his surprise.  "That would be in Flagstaff.  There's a Wolf 's Fertility Clinic there that does both collecting and storing, as well as in vitro fertilization.  You storing or implanting?"

"A bit of both, I think," Despina sasses, swinging her hips provocatively as she stands to leave, mission accomplished.


Next

Last updated 1/5/16  Standardized top links; added second space after end punctuation; switched -- to ∼; -- to –; and ;... to …;   2/27/10 changed time period from I return to Iowa this fall, to before this weekend. Reworded "Then again,” Mick continues, “I just might be able to tip you to an empty room rentable for the weekend owned by a nice widow lady who might be persuaded to let you shower there when it's not otherwise occupied."

"You're definitely 'on' for that one!”
as they’ve already rented the other room in Room To Let. (Where’sMeKilt) Moved "I'm a veritable font of information -- fire away.” 2/26/10 Added “tells”. 12/17/09 Changed rented to rentable; in it to there. 8/5/08 Corrected palaver. (7/23/08, removed material repeated in Heredity. 11/13/04.)

Word Count: 509

http://pandemo.livejournal.com/68335.html
http://summercircles.livejournal.com/25062.html

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Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
sydneydaile
Feb. 12th, 2010 08:36 pm (UTC)
I'm really enjoying this Part V (not that I didn't enjoy the others), but it's just reading along very smoothly and a lot of my former questions are starting to get answered, which I knew they would!

There is a repetition again in this chapter, with Cu getting out of Mickey's police car and the children swarming him, as well as his conversation about English with Despina.
summercircles
Feb. 13th, 2010 01:20 am (UTC)
Thanks!
I THINK I finally got that first one you spotted untangled. I have one long LONG master document, that, if properly updated, will allow me to search a key word, listing the references down the side IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER as they appear in the story.

It just occurred to me as I was reading the version that Where'sMeKilt worked from -- a lot of Part V has been revised for the conversational "tells", and is in general cleaned up better... However, IF you see any awkward speeches, PLEASE tip me off... (Makes the effort seem more worth it if you can tell even before all the issues are addressed!)

But, it is running way behind your and Where'sMeKIlt's suggestions/revisions. I want it as updated as possible for Sunday when I need a new printed copy to hand off. I've sure LOVED having yours on line!

Edited at 2010-02-27 07:13 pm (UTC)
summercircles
Feb. 27th, 2010 07:06 pm (UTC)
Critique Group's Comments from Where'sMeKilt
Then again, I just might be able to tip you to an empty room rentable for the weekend owned by a nice widow lady...

Isn't she already renting there?
pandemo
Feb. 27th, 2010 07:08 pm (UTC)
Re: Critique Group's Comments from Where'sMeKilt
Good catch! You are exactly right.

How do you think it reads now?
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )